Sexual harassment of tops
Sexual harassment of tops (a fascinating lesson learned from attending a bottoms class)
I was at a bottoming class and the topic of how to treat tops and how tops are treated came up in the discussion, so the question was asked of the tops in attendance "Has any bottom grabbed your junk non-consensually during a scene?" and EVERY top in the class raised their hand (all genders).
Then we compared notes "Oh yeah, when I tie their hands behind there back and am standing behind them to adjust something sure enough, they just reach on out with their fingers and..." or "they suddenly decide to bite you and..." you get the idea.
Be it as a top at a bottom's buffet or when teaching a class and trying to help another top learn a tie to ... whatever I felt a sense of relief "Oh good, I'm not the only one" and in every case the bottom was confused why the top wasn't flattered so I thought, huh, I should write this note down so tops (and bottoms) will understand, tops get sexually harassed too (a lot) and nope, we're not alone nor are we flattered.
In most cases we try to be polite (not sure why) and walk away (I guess because we can as we're not tied down) but seriously, why do we do that and why apparently has EVERY top at the bottoms class been non-consensually grabbed, touched or bitten and yet none of us thought to report a consent violation where if it was the other way around the top in question would (and should) be run out of "the community"?
Link to original Fetlife Writing